wOw…

i am dissapointed!! can u beat it, my bf jus said no for comin to his house ans spending time wit him…he us made me cry…i never ask and when i do he puts me down…he can actually say ‘i wanna be alone’…which bf foesnt want to spend time with their gf??? well yea MINE!!! he comes here for like few minutes and goes off!! when i cooked for him eventho i have so much work to do…and i wanted it to be special, its the 19th and its our third month…y do u have to hurt me like this??? thru out my life i never heard any of my boyfriends say they wanna be alone without me!!! this is sooo new to me….i sooo smell sumthin fishy!!! im jus an exibition!!! and the best part is im gonna leave in a month..does it matter to him??? that he can never spend time wit me after this? i jus have no words to express wat i feel right now…

i mean evthin was fine yesterday…he was there when i was sooo down n needed a shoulder to cry on…i reali thot tat he will always be there for me…but i dun get it, how can my bf say no to me!! when he rarely spends time wit me…and im gonna leave??? this is mere insanity!!!!

PaPA…

im so sensitive when it comes to my dad..he’s birthday is on the 25th and i can’t be there…its his 70th bday and i always wanted to have a huge celebration for him!! but yea, am here and this the 2nd consequent year that i wont be in msia to celebrate it with this awesome person!!!

my dad has been my everything…isnt it weird, cuz m a gal and anyone will expect me to be close wit my mum but things are different with me…my dad has been there when my days are awful, he somehow makes me smile…he has never let me down in anyway…the best part is ryte, no matter how poor he gets, he has never let us suffer…he will be the one suffering deep down and tryin his level best to support his 3 daughters…for a man who is 70, he should be sitting down and relaxing and enjoying his life but no he works and works and works…he cant see very well but he still drives, he got all kind of sickness but he still has tat will-power to go all out jus for us!!! he never said no…

i am where i am now becuz of him…his love, devotion and advice has made me a better person…i know no matter where i go his teachings will be incised in my heart…i reali realli wanna be home and spend all the time with him…i dunno whether my decision to stay back in US will be worth leaving my papa there…

papa, i know ull never read this but i jus wanna let u noe tat u mean the world to me…if i was to be born again i wanna be ya daughter again…im so blessed to have u in my life and i dunno wat i would do without you…dont ever let me go papa…cuz with you life seems sooo perfect and i know no matter happens in my life and no matter how cruel people can be around me i will always find solace in you…jus by talking to you my whole world becomes brighter…jus by hearing ya voice evthin seems perfect,evntho u have so many problems in ya life but u still manage to hide evthin and make us happy

papa please dun leave me..i will be lost without you!!!! i love you soooo much and thanks for being a great, awesome, wonderful dad!!! i miss u papa..i can nver tell u straightforward but i do…and i know u miss me too but u just act like evthin’s ok n jus want me to be happy…